007 Journals: Moonraker

Hey, you know what was popular and exciting in 1979? Star Wars! Now up until this point Thunderball was my reference point for the worst James Bond film. That has since changed. Now I know there a lot of people who love this film, whether ironically or not. Since everyone pretty much knows what's up with Moonraker I thought I would take a little different approach to it. I'll still include a review but I will say no matter how you look at it, this is a bad movie and is most definitely a representation of the time it's made. Everyone knows that this was a direct response to what the phenomena Star Wars became. Now I was born in the late eighties and therefore was not around when this movie released. I have heard a lot about the legacy of this movie so I knew the sort of things I would see but I didn't know what to expect. I would also like to point out that I am on record as saying I am not as big a fan of the campiness of the Bond series. I came to this with fresh eyes for the first time in 2015 and my thoughts will reflect it as such.

Now this film was coming off of The Spy Who Loved Me which is a film I enjoyed very much. It had a couple over the top moments but still manged to pull off a fairly serious spy movie. We even saw Bond with a little aggressiveness as he excessively executed Stromberg with multiple gun shots. Moonraker pretty much immediately throws out all seriousness. I thought maybe I was going to enjoy my time during the cold open. It's a great stunt, all done with real stunt actors, that involved Bond jumping out of an airplane and trying to snatch a parachute off a bad guy. Then out of nowhere Jaws is there too. Now I thought Jaws was kind of awkward in the previous film but overall I loved him. He felt imposing and like a slasher movie villain. An unstoppable force. This time however he's played up for comic effect. Every encounter he has with Bond ends with him almost dying but surviving miraculously and brushing himself off. It felt so much like a cartoon that this could have easily have been a Loony Tunes movie and is the Bond film that has the most felt as such. It is happy to note that Jaws finds love in a busty blonde as we all hope to one day.

Now Roger Moore was the oldest actor to play James Bond and in his fourth outing I am really starting to notice his age. Granted he does look good for his age but he does seem a little more tired this time around. Luckily he is still charming as 007 but it's becoming less believable when he seduces every woman he comes across, and I do mean every woman. I don't think there's a woman that he has a serious interaction with in this film that he doesn't bed. It's almost becoming a parody of itself at this time. Honestly what hurt this movie the most for is how much it sticks to the Bond formula which is something that has just happened too many times in a row . I know that's what a lot of people like about these early movies and I'm not saying it can't work, The Spy Who Loved Me was very much a by the numbers Bond film but it was just pulled off so much better. Honestly all of the Roger Moore films have felt similar and maybe if I was watching them with years separating them I would feel differently but I find it hard to imagine living in a world where Star Wars has happened and then seeing this and feeling it was even close to the same level.

Honestly I never felt so bored watching a movie and really the only other movie in the series that felt this boring was Thunderball but I feel like I could give Thunderball another shot. Moonraker not so much. I'm not sure if they were aiming to replicate Grand Moff Tarkin with Drax but he was just as flat as anyone could be. I don't think I ever noticed him without his arms crossed or behind his back throughout the entire movie. He was monotone and deadpan through his entire performance and just not believable as a Bond villain. Not to mention his plan was identical to the previous villain Stromberg only instead of creating an underwater society it was a space one. Drax is easily my least favorite Bond villain to date.

If I wanted to get into the specifics of this movie I could be here all day. I'll just throw out a lot of the obvious low points. The special effects, Bond's boat is ridiculous (and turns into a hover craft), a pigeon takes a double take look at Bond driving a boat on land, the cookie cutter plot, aging Roger Moore, Jaws as comic relief, out of place laser fight, Bond using a shotgun as a sniper rifle, the nonsensical falling into the right locations, hard tonal shifts, Bond suddenly becoming a cowboy, bad green screens, and giant fake snake. There are so many more but I figured I should mention what I did like about the movie. The fight with Drax's samurai ally was pretty brutal and fun with them just destroying a glass room. I also liked the reveal of the space station. It was some nice cinematography and miniature work. Honestly that's about it. I know this movie falls into the "so bad it's good" category for a lot of fans but for me it was just bad. I give Moonraker a one out of five.